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The 
CONTROVERSY 
of the 

POWERS, a: a; 



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THE CONTROVERSY OF THE POWERS. 



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Iv^^ Copies RECFivf.o 
NOV 30 1900 

SECOND COPY 
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AUTHOR'S NOTE. 

This little drama was written originally 
for Class Day presentation by the Upper 
Iowa University Class of 1900. Since its 
hasty preparation many instances have 
been noted where the text might have been 
improved, but for reasons not necessary to 
make public, it has been printed nearly as 
written, with the knowledge, however, that 
there are defects which might have been 
remedied easily. 

The "Powers" represented were England, 
United States, France, Russia, Germany,, 
Spain, Italy, Turkey, Japan, China, Porto 
Rico, Cuba and the Philippines, the four 
last named being represented by young la- 
dies, and the language used by each was 
written to harmonize in some degree with 
the actors' personality. 

The "Controversy" begins in the time 
just prior to the Spanish- American War, 
and continues through several incidents of 
international importance, including the 
Peace Conference and the "Open Door" diffi- 
culty in China. 

The drama has been printed merely to 
preserve in more permanent form that 
which was intended for an hour's diversion 
in college life, and it is the author's hope 
that those who chance to read it may not 
exercise their privilege of criticism too 
harshly upon that which he realizes might 
have been bettered. 



The Controversy of the Powers. 



Act 1. ScEXE 1. 

(Soliloqur by Spain.) 

Spaix: — In what a condition am I, 
proxid and once mighty Spain. Year by 
5'ear, island b)^ island, my colonies have 
slipped away from me as a meteor vanishes 
down the skj'-. I fear the day approaches 
rapidly when I shall have no more colonies 
than has the g-reat Yankee pig- nation, which, 
although it boasts of its power, never own- 
ed a colony in its life. Power! What does 
the stick-whittling Yankee know of power? 
He has nothing but a few wretched ships, 
a few hundred tiinid soldiers who are sta- 
tioned thousands and thousands of miles 
from the coast, a paltry president and mil- 
lions of pigs. Can a pig fight? But I, I 
have Cuba, the Philippines and my honor. 
And though my colonies disappear, my 
honor can never be taken from me. Honor! 
What is honor? Caramba! It is that noble 
quality which — which— ah — ^belongs to me 
alone. Honor wins victoi-ies even though 
the victors be defeated. Honor is — is — mine, 
and mine alone. But while I am sitre of mv 



2 The Co ntroversy of the Powers. 

honor, I am not so snre of mj' dear Cuban 
and Philippine islands. They are ver>' dear 
to me. I have spent much money and blood 
upon them. True, it was their money and 
their blood, but I spent it honorably, thanks 
to my honor. Yes, thej'- are dear to me. 
And Cuba, that colossal ingrate, that turbu- 
lent paradise of barbarians, that trebly con- 
quered island, refuses to submit to my just 
and equable laws. That is not all. She ap- 
peals to that detestable, whistling Yankee 
for aid. But I will keep her. I will crush 
her spirit, and give her more laws, and 
more taxes, and more governor-generals, 
and more ruin and desolation. For my 
honor shall not be sullied. As for that 
Yankee pig, I will bake him, broil him, stew 
him, grind him to powder, but I will never 
eat him. 

( Uncle Sam appears, whittling.) 

Uncle Sam: Naw, I guess not. Oh you 
needn't try to look so innocent. I heerd ye. 

Spain: — The Senor is mistaken. He 
heard the wind, he — 

Uncle Sam:— You bet I did. That was 
all wind. But now see here, my honorable 
friend. I want to talk to you seriously. 
Can you not, without doing violence to that 



The Controversy of the Powers. 3 

honor of yours, be a little more considerate 
of Cuba in her distressed condition? Do 
you not realize that Cuba has never had 
half a chance? Do you not see that the 
ej-es of all the civilized nations are turned 
upon you with entreaty, and upon Cuba 
with pity? We all — 

Spain:— Senor calls himself civilized, 
then? How can a pig-raiser be civilized? 

Uncle Sam: — Don't trouble your brain 
with questions too large for it, my sanguin- 
ary friend. What I want to know is this: 
Will you withdraw your soldiers from the 
Pearl of the Antilles and give her people 
more rights and privileges? Now, I don't 
want any "manana." about this. We must 
have an immediate understanding. We've 
talked about this before, and you promised 
this, and that, and a number of other things 
equally important, but somehow, your 
memory always failed you, and the things 
were never done. This decision you must 
abide by. Will you, or will you not? You, 
my doughtj^ Don, no doubt think the affair 
is none of my business. But I must inform 
you that as sure as there is a star or a stripe 
on the flying fabric of Old Glory I'll make 
it my business. 



4 The Controversy of the Powers. 

Spain: Thf civilized Senor threaten:*, 
does he'r 

Uncle Sam:— No. By gravy, no. I inn 
stating- a fact. If a fact seems to you a threat, 
so be it. But the murder of linndrecl.s of 
innocent women and children before my 
verj' door, the inhuman treatinent of all 
Cubans and the demoralization of all in- 
dustry' upon the island, draw each drop of 
blood faster through mj^ veins in sj'mpathj' 
for the unfortunate victiins of a flint-hearted 
foe. You, sir, are that foe, and if you do 
not alleviate, at once, the suffering of a 
sorrowing people, withdraw your soldiery 
from the island and pledge 3'ourself to fair 
treatment in tlie future, I shall intervene. 
And that intervention will count. When I 
interfere I give my whole attention to inter- 
ference. 

SPAIN: — Senor Americano is not a pleas- 
ing speaker. His voice is much too loud 
and — ah — firm, and his diplomacy is not di- 
ploinacy. 

Uncle SAM:--This may be so, most ef- 
fulgent emissary of the evil one, but mark 
this; what I lack in that ability to lie fluent- 
ly and undeviatinglj'-, known to 5'ou old- 
world nations as diplomacj', I make up in 



The Controversy of the Powers. 5 

ability to accomplish without lying-. What 
is it to be — peace or war? 

Spain: — Well, since Senor Americano 
chooses to express himself in this manner, 
I kiss his hand quite humbly and saj^ — 
(Cuba enters.) 

Cuba: — Uncle Sam, a fearful thing has 
happened. Read! 

(U. S. takes paper and reads.) 

"Havana, February, 16, 1898. 
12:30 p. m. 
Battleship Maine blown up and de- 
stroyed tonight at 9:40 p. m. Ex- 
plosion occurred well forward un- 
der quarters of crew; consequence 
many were lost. It is believed all 
officers saved, but Jenkins and 
Merritt not yet accounted for. 
Cause of explosion yet to be inves- 
tigated." 
(U. S. to Spain): 
And so this is what you — 
Cuba (to U. S.^— Also read this: 
('ZZS. reacfs^ "Suspend judgment. Sigs- 
bee." (Meditatively) "Suspend judgment." 
Yes, that is better. I must not be too hasty. 
But the thought of scores of my brave sail- 
or boys lying mangled in that foul pool at 



6 The Contr oversy of the Powers. 

Havana nearly drives me to "loose the dogs 
of war" upon the cowardly aasaasin. For in 
my heart I- believe— he did it. (To Spain) 
You need not reply to my question. / re- 
serve the rig-ht todetermine whether it shall 
be peace or war. 

Spain: — Very considerate of Senor. 

Cuba: — ^To Spain) Though Uncle Sam 
may not say to you that he believes you re- 
sponsible for this misfortune, I say that I 
believe it a deed not beneath j'ou. I know 
your cunning- and treachery, your villainy 
masked by a smile. 

(Cuba recites poem.) 

(To Spain.) 

What were you doing, bankrupt Spain, 

Down in the baj' by Havana? 
Spreading ruin in j'our hostile train! 

Placing your mines, and with treacher- 
ous thought 
Plotting destruction to boats afloat 

In the sunny baj^ of Havana! 

(To U. S.) 
He planted the mines — the traitorous Spain, 

In the dank, dark bay of Havana, 
He planned the fate of thy battleship Maine, 

And the mangled sailors a-djang lay 
While all hope of life had fled away, 

In tliat deadlj' bay of Havana. 



The Controversy of the Powers. 7 

(To Spain, and pointing to U. S.) 
But there on the shore is Uncle Sam, 

Scanning- the bay of Havana, 
Vowing such voavs as Uncle Sam can! 

That the cruel war and the dastard deed 
Shall be avenged and Cuba be freed! 

(To U. S.) 
This is the way, O Uncle Sam, 

The only way since war began 
To conquer Spain is with shell and shot, 

The only way to avenge the plot. 
There by the bay of Havana. 

(Meditativelj^) 
Revenge is sweet, indeed, when 

Maying heroes out of men 
Patriots cry " 'Remember the Maine' 

And the hearts that beat never more 
ag-ain," 
Down in the bay of Havana. 

{To U. S.) 
My people are fearless, O Uncle Sam, 

My people are unafraid. 
But weary of trusting the deeds of Spain 

They now^ beseech j^our aid. 
And weary of sating Spanish greed 

They now entreat that Cuba be freed! 

Uncle Sam: — Your entreaty shall not go 
unheeded. My young men are eager to aid 
you, and there are many of them. At my 
bidding they will swarm upon every hill-top 
and everj^ sunnj^ Cuban slope, with arms in 



8 The Controversy of the Powers. 



their strong yoting liands and courag^e in 
their fearless liearts. They have learned 
the lesson of the i^ood Samaritan, and they 
will not pass b}' the helpless. 

Cuba: -Then you mean to drive this in- 
solent oppressor from the land of my peo- 
ple, and make them free? 

Uncle Sam:— It begins to look as if I 
most certainly shall. 

(Enter England, France, Germany, Ita- 
ly and Russia.) 

KXGLAND:— Brother Johnathan, we wish 
to speak with )-ou for a moment. We Euro- 
pean powers are agreed that it is a great pity 
for two nations to go to war in this advanced 
age of the world, and we ask if our services 
as mediators will not be accepted. 

Uncle Sam {duhiously):-Yon all want to 
act as mediators, do you? H — m — m. Well 
gentlemen I thank yon, but I can't stop to 
mediate. 

England: — You are determined on war 
then? 

Uncle Sam:— That is about the size of 
it. 

England: — We are very sorry. Still, we 
'ave done our duty. Personally, Hi'm op- 
posed to war, (Takes U. S. aside) but give 



The Controversy of the Powers. 9 

'im fits, cousin, and Hi 'opes you'll blow the 
bloomin' blackguard hout of water and 
hoff the earth. 

Uncle Sam {turning to Spain):— You 
here yet! 

Spain {bowling): — And so are nay friends. 
{Points to powers.) 

Uncle Sam:— Friends! You, Don, 
should know that national friendship is of- 
ten a ship without a rudder. But enough 
of this. I do not wish to detain you as your 
time must be very valuable. By the right 
of the strong to protect the weak, by the 
right of the fortunate to succor the fallen 
and by the right of the happy to dry the 
tears of the sorrowing, I here declare my- 
self. While there is a star fondly clinging 
within the folds of Old Glory, while there 
breathes a man whose heart falters not in 
battle, whose body is animated by the blood 
of a race who never yet lay down in defeat, 
and whose eye never feared to search the 
eye of an enemy, while Uncle Sam lives, no 
appeal of a neighbor for help shall go un- 
heeded. 

ttttitttttt 



10 The Con tr oversy of the Powers. 

Act I. Scene II. 

(In ha ckgroun d Russia, Japa n, Philip- 
pines, China, Porto Rico, Cuba and Tur- 
key. In foreground France, Germany and 
Italy.) 

France:— What is it that we shall do, 
monsieiirs? 

Germany: — Mein frenta, I believe we are 
here to find out about making ourselves in 
the road mit America. 

France:— That is— ah vat you call him 
— ze intervention? 

Germany:— Ya, j'a, that is him. 

ITALY: — Most happy thought. We 
should give aid to our Spain or the Ameri- 
cano will make short his life. But is it well 
for us that we do many things to attract the 
attention of Senor Americano? 

Germany:— In itself that is bad enough, 
but what about England? If it should be 
that Johann Bull should gollect himself 
with us, sehr gut; if not, it would be some 
disagreeableness to us. To me it seems bet- 
ter to quiet keep and watch England. 

France: — Monsieur then has the great 
fear of the Briton? 



The Controversy of the Powers. 11 

Germany: — Nein, nein. But it is better 
to wait and see. 

France: — And let the American con- 
tinue to destroy the men and ships of Spain? 

Italy:— Let us join and destroy the 
power of Senor who boasts of his war 
for humanity. Four against one is a good 
fight. 

Germany:— Und still there is England. 

ItaI/Y: — England dare not join with the 
Americano dog, for there is the Russian 
bear waiting for some event to engage the 
British attention, when he will make a great 
hunt into China and Turkey. 

Germany:— Then it would be war with 
all of us, bretty guick. 

France: — Let it be that we do nothing, 
then, since it is safer. 

ITALY: — And now is my brother afraid, 
— my brother in whose veins runs the blood 
of the conquerors of the world? 

France: — Oh, no. But so much is ae 
discomfort, ze noise, ze horror of war! 

Germany: — Mein frent, upon vot side 
you are? 

France (shrugs shoulders): — Ah, who 
knows. It is difficult, very, for me to tell, so 
many are ze doubts which seize me. 



12 The Controversy of the Powers. 

( Engla. n d en ters. Bo ira.) 

England:— Hi 'ope Hi see you well. 
What do my brethren disciiaar 

AlvL:— The War. 

England: — It is very interesting-, is it 
not? And yet very one-sided. Mj' noble 
cousin, Uncle Sam, is a great fighter. 'E 
breathes a few times, stretches out those 
long arms of 'is, and Spain 'as lost a fleet. 
'E goes forward but one step, and Spain 
mourns for an army. What a great strug- 
gle it would be were he pitted against a 
great power-like myself. But that will nev- 
er be. Hi love him too well. (The three 
look at each other signiHcantlj'.) Besides 
'e 'as the same blood as myself. 

Germany: — Better it would be for us 
not to step in mit ourselfs to stop this war? 

England:— Would it be better? Hon 
my honor, yes,. We 'ave all declared our- 
selves neutral. Shall we then break ovxr 
oath? That nation which does so must 
reckon with me, for as sure as Hi 'ope to see 
the sun rise tomorrow. Brother Johnathan's 
cause is just, and there must be no interfer- 
ence. 

( England joins others in background. 
Enter U. S., mopping hro\v.) 



The Controversy of the Powers. 13 

Uncle Sam:— Well, g-entlemen, I sup- 
pose you are interested in the success of my 
little war down in Cuba. The continuance 
of the conflict is being- marked by the same 
success as that which met my man Dewey, 
in Manila. That is comprehensive enough 
for anyone. I w^in w^herever I go. It won't 
take me long to finish puncturing this bub- 
ble that Spain calls his army and navy, and 
then, (turning to Cuba and Philippines) 
the Cubans and Filipinos will be given all 
the protection I can command, which will 
be followed by self-government as soon as 
they are ready for it. 

Germany: — Und how about my inter- 
ests? My ships have been stopped by that 
Dewey of yours, and yet they were flying 
those German flags. Is that some fairness 
mit me? 

Uncle Sam:— "Those flags can be bought 
anywhere for a half dollar a j^ard." I can't 
afford to take the chances of Spanish ships 
sailing into the harbor of Manila under 
German flags. I have been making this 
blockade as easy for everybody as I could, 
but I am managing the blockade. Any 
infraction of my rule will mean but one 
thing. That will be war. If you are ready 



14 The Controversy of the Powers. 



for war withnie yoii can have it at any time. 

Gkkmaxy: - I fear tliere inu.st be some 
inistakennesH. Yoii don't understood me. 

UncIvE Sam: — I do understand and I 
mean what I say. 

Philippines:— Uncle Sam, my people 
wish to thank you for removinu^ from our 
shoulders the heavy hand of the Castilian. 
For years and years it has rested very heavi- 
ly upon us. The time when it was not can 
not be remembered. We have longed for 
relief and pra^'ed to our oppressor until our 
tongues grew tired in our mouths, and a 
scornful laugh and a heavier load was all 
the answer he gave. Under the cloak of re- 
ligion he invaded our ocean-locked homes, 
and scattered the seed of woe. We welcome 
you, and yet tangled in the web of thankful- 
ness to 3'ou, ovir deliverer, is the fear that 
you too will wear the garments of religion 
only for our undoing. We are not to blame 
for this fear. For centuries it has been a 
wear}^ road for the people of my country, 
and suspicion is our strongest feeling. 
Deal with us gently, and it may be that you 
will have great cause to rejoice for your 
kindness to a harrowed and hunted race. 

Uncle Sam:— Your words touch me 



The Controversy of the Powers. 15 

deeply. Jvistice shall dwell in your islands, 
and the hand of Uncle Sam shall be stretch- 
ed forth to aid j'ou, not to oppress. But I 
must step out and superintend the battle of 
Santiago which will happen pretty soon. 
Would that I had Blanco's typewriter. Then 
wonld I win this fight without losing- a man 
or burning a pound of powder. (Exit U. S.) 
Phiijppixes:— Would that every war- 
ring- nation had such a typewriter, if it were 
blessed with such a power. Thei'e is no 
crime more cruel, no horror more hideous, 
no demon more destructive than the war 
which men wage against each other for 
selfish ends. And j^et, of all the wars known 
to man, that in which Uncle Sam is now en- 
gaged is the most unselfish and righteous. 
That he will be successful cannot be doubt- 
ed, for justice will v/in. That he may never 
have another, is iny dearest wish for him. 
May the time soon come when the clangor 
of weapons and the noise of powder burned 
in anger shall be hushed, and the great si- 
lence be broken only by the sound of bells 
tuned in universal harmon}^; when the dark 
clouds of strife shall be scattered and the 
world-wide path of war be illumined bj^ the 
sun of peace. 



16 The Controversy of the Powers. 



Act I. Scene III. 



(Philippines, Cuba and Porto Rico in 
background. Spain enters.) 

Spain (sotto voce): — I perceive that my 
three former dependencies are holding an 
animated conference. It will not be dis- 
honorable to taunt and exasperate them 
now that they are under the control of the 
Yankee, who will no doubt be very success- 
ful in failing to fulfill his proinisesto thein. 
(Turning to them.) I pray you, how is 
it with the free and independent peo- 
ple of j'ovir islands? Does the fair pro- 
mise of the Americano fill you with joy un- 
alloyed? Or is there perhaps something to 
to be desired, even yet? But no. It cannot 
be. So magnanimous, generous and hu- 
mane a master can do no wrong to the peo- 
ple whose lands he inust soon control — for 
I must eventually submit to the rulings of 
an unpropitious fate, and surrender to the 
pig who fights — 3^es, fights well. 

Cuba: — It is strange to my ears to hear 
the haughtj^ Castilian admit that he has 
found his master! But a just God watches 
over the little peoples, even as He notes the 



The Controversy of the Powers. 17 

deieds of the great, and though time may be 
long, His plan, little by little, nears its end. 
It is not an unpropitlous fate which has 
torn your bloody hand from our throats, but 
a just God. As to our pleasure in the 
change of masters, what does it matter to 
you? When before have you taken so deep 
an interest in our prospects? But this we 
can say. The Americano's promises can 
not be more false than yours. 

Philippines: — My sister speaks truly. 
We welcome any change, knowing it cannot 
be for the worse. Ah! Senor Don relishes 
not our words thrown full in his teeth. It 
is sweet to us that you are powerless to re- 
sent them. Many years of pain embitter 
the tongue. But the words spoken b}'^ it are 
sweet to the speaker when addressed to the 
author of the pain. 

Spain: — It is well for the free and inde- 
pendent peoples to talk thus while they may. 
But they should remember that a faint- 
hearted dog barks always in his own yard. 
Also should they remember that they owe 
many things even to me. 

Porto Rico: — For once the truth passes 
Senor's lips. It is to you that my sisters 
owe the suppression of all privileges, except 



18 The Controversy of the Powers. 

perhaps the mere right to draw breath, — 
and that only when yon might profit by it. 

Cuba: — We owe to you idle factories, 
blackened ruins where homes were once, 
desolate fields, broken families, hunger, pov- 
erty, ignorance, misery and degradation — 
everj'^thing that robs life of its value. Not 
one pleastire, even a little one, was granted 
Its by you — to whom we "owe so much." 

Spain: — Much talking is wearisome to 
me. It is as the foam on the water, which 
serves no other purpose but to w^arn sailors 
of hidden sharp-toothed rocks. I will depart. 

(Enter U. S.) 

Uncle Sam: (to Spain)— li it is agree- 
able to mj' friend with the diplomatic mind, 
I propose that we stroll past the foam of 
words, which is so distasteful to hiin, and 
come at once to an ag'reement. I have noted, 
however, that when the words proceed from 
Senor's own lips he listens patiently and 
with approbation. Does he submit to the 
terms I proposed many days ago, or does he 
desire to play in the foam and the froth of 
much talking? 

Spain: — It is impossible that I submit 
to your demands — for I have forgotten their 
import. 



The Controversy of the Powers. 19 

Uncle Sam {with despairing gesture): 
Well of all the lame, unreliable memories 
ever possessed by a diplomat, yours limps 
the most and fails the oftenest. I do not 
vmderstand how a thorough diplomatist can 
accomplish any great coo — coop — coo — de — 
tat under such distressing conditions. How 
embarrassing it would be if j^ou were to for- 
get to forget, and remember something you 
thought you had forgotten! Perhaps that 
is the test of diplomacy, however. 

Spain: — The Americano pleases to be in 
good humor. It is his privilege, having de- 
feated in war the most courageous soldiers 
beneath the sun, the most skillful generals 
the world has ever known, and the greatest 
nation which ever produced warriors and 
officers to lead them. 

Uncle Sam.-— Oh! 

Spain: — But the Americano fights rude- 
ly. Your men would have been defeated 
easily had they observed the customary for- 
malities of war. But no. They fought like 
barbarians, and after firing a volley, kept 
coming and firing and firing and coming 
till we were confused and forced to surren- 
der. 

Uncle Sam:— That's correct, Mr. Don. I 



20 The Controversy of ttie Powers. 

don't wonder you object to our method of 
fighting. You have abundant cause to do 
so. 

Spain: — It is a pleasure to find that my 
friend agrees with me on one point. 

Uncle Sam: — We are straying from the 
subject. My terms are these: I'll take Cu- 
ba, Porto Rico and the Philippines and call 
it square. 

Spain:— Never! Then would my honor 
be lost. 

Uncle Sam:— Then I'll give you $20,000- 
000 in return for the improvements in Ma- 
nila. 

Spain: — My honor is preserved, and I ac- 
cept your terms. 

Porto Rico: — No words are strong 
enough to express our gratitude to you, Un- 
cle Sam, for our liberation from a tjrant. 
But yet we must in some way attempt to in- 
dicate it to 5'ou, and whatever failure our 
words may make, our future endeavors may 
prove to you that we are gratef ill. As the 
warm Spring sun draws into being dormant 
life, so, we are confident, will the life-giving 
beams from the sun of your prosperity in- 
sure a steady growth and a certain har\'est 
of happiness to us and to you. The bleak 



The Controversy of the Powers. 21 

winter of our colonial life has passed, and 
we enter now into the Spring. We hope for 
such advance as the seasons pass by, that 
when the winter comes again, with its dwarf- 
ing- breath, as it does to every people, and 
will to us, we may be so strong and stalwart 
that no serious evil will result. If it shall 
be so, we shall know it is due to you, Uncle 
Sam, our deliverer and protector. 

UncI/E Sam: — In time to come you shall 
have not only my protection, but what is 
better, protection by yourselves — in other 
words, self-government. I see in you the 
slowly ripening fruit from the tree of free- 
dom, the seed of which was long ago plant- 
ed in my land. 

Cuba: — We realize our weakness, and as 
yet merely hope that the day may soon 
dawn when the enjoyment of life, liberty 
and the pursuit of happiness may be our 
portion. We hope to prove worthy of your 
confidence, and are assured of your sinceri- 
ty toward us. 



§tt§§a§ 



22 The Controversy of the Powers. 

Act II. Scene I. 

(Peace Conference at Hague. Russia 
on stage soliloquizing.) 

Russia: — When I sent out my call for a 
peace conference, it did not occur to tne 
that the move was so unexpected that it 
would set all nations to talking and draw 
attention so closely upon myself — which 
was the one thing I wished to avoid. My re- 
cent large orders for ships, guns and am- 
munition, I thought, would draw the keen 
glances of all the jealous powers, and there- 
fore I issued my call for a conference. This, 
I fear, has attracted more notice than any 
other act I could have performed, and the 
whole plan now seems likel}^ to end in laugh- 
ter or ridicule. 

There is nothing left for me but to put 
on a bold front and carry out the idea as 
though in earnest. Perhaps some good 
will come of it. I may be able to blind 
some of my competitors for Chinese spheres 
of influence until I can increase ray strength 
enough to safely bid defiance to them. At 
any rate I hope for peace during the peace 
conference. 



The Controversy of the Powers. 23 

(U. S. and England approach. They 
stop and converse.) 

Uncle Sam: — What do you think causes 
our Russian friend to so earnestly desire 
peace? 

England: — Desire for personal safety 
often leads one to make overtures of peace 
when nothing else could induce him to do so. 

Uncle Sam: — Then you believe the Bear 
is afraid? 

England:— Yes. 

Uncle Sam:— Of whom? 

England: — You and me. Hi'm consider- 
ed the strongest of the powers. You 'ave 
risen to a much higher plane, as a world 
power, through your war with Spain. Thus, 
you see, the Latin and other Continental 
peoples fear their subversion, sooner or la- 
ter, by the Anglo-Saxon. There is a motive 
force behind the Bear. Hi c'n see the tracks 
of other animals in the mud around his lair. 
It is to be a battle between our wit, and 
theirs. This being so. Hi propose that we 
form a secret alliance 'ere and now. This 
will give us more confidence, and we need 
not 'esitate to push our claims, on the 
strength of the effect that an announcement 
of our alliance would have. 



24 The Controversy of the Powers. 

Uncle Sam: — Your idea does ^ou credit. 
And yet I must refuse the honor. 

England:— And why? 

Uncle Sam:— Such a compact could not 
be kept secret even for an hour! Once 
known it would invite attack upon us. That 
I must avoid. The troubles in the Philip- 
pines are sufficient for me at present. But 
be assured of my sincerest friendship. The 
time is not ripe for our alliance, but it may 
come. 

(Enter all the powers and after salut- 
ing Russia, seat themselves. Islands not 
present.) 

Russia: — My hearty greetings. We 
seem to be all here, and I will now give my 
reasons for requesting this assemblage. 

"I look out over the world; I study our 
civilization, and I do not find it very good. 
I see all nations engaged in seizing or try- 
ing to seize all the territory not yet occupied 
by European powers. 

"For the native races what does imperial 
expansion mean? Too often, opium, alco- 
hol and all manner of disease; a great gulf 
between those who govern and the ruled; 
and crushing taxation upon the natives for 
the blessings of this civilization. 



The Controversy of the Powers. 25 

"And for the nations who seize, what 
does it mean? A continual increase of sus- 
picion, jealousy and rivalry; the heaping up 
of fleets and armies in order to take part in 
a scramble with the world, with the result 
that the army and navy are swallowing- up 
more and more millions that should be used 
for the welfare of the people and the ad- 
vancement of the world. 

"War has become so expensive that no 
state can stand the strain of protracted con- 
flict without having to look bankruptcy in 
the face; and we are so perfecting our mod- 
ern weapons of destruction that no army 
can go into the field without losing so large 
a proportion of its ofQcers that when the 
war is over, even if that army is victorious, 
the war will have inflicted irreparable loss 
on the country. 

"What with disconnection caused by 
mobilization, what with an empty exchequer, 
what with decimated ranks of leading and 
governing men, I see nothing before any 
nation but a terrible heritage of revolution- 
ary anarch3^" Therefore have I summoned 
you that we may arrange for disarmament. 

Germany:— That is one good talk. It 
would all verv well be if onlv I could mv 



26 The Controversy of the Powers. 

array keep. I pelief me in peace, but I want 
my armies and nafies in my pocket handy 
close by. 

France-.— ( excitedl_y steps up to Rus- 
sia) There now it is that you see what you've 
done. Ze German will not disarm, and then 
where do I get back my Alsace and Lor- 
raine, if it is zat you put aside ze armee and 
ze na vee? You do not remain by your agree- 
ment. Is it not so? 

Russia.— Keep still, frog-eater. Do you 
want to spoil the whole scheme? 

France: — Ah! It is one scheme, is it? 
Ah! Then I am quite still. 

Uncle Sam.— If there's any scheme on 
hand I'd like to be one of the schemers. 

England:— Hi'm not 'arf so afraid of 
old Russia's fighting materials as Hi am of 
'is schemes. 

Japan: — And when I don't hear John 
Bull's voice anywhere, I begin to investi- 
gate the silence, and I generally find that 
he is doing a little scheming himself. 

Spain: — There is not a single one of you 
who knows the true art of scheming. I in- 
vented the scheine by which schemes are 
made, and ever since you have been trying 
to steal my idea and improve on it. But 



The Controversy of the Powers. 27 

Spain always leads, and all others follow. 

Uncle Sam:— That's the way it was in 
Cuba, and no mistake. 

Turkey:— What's all this muss about. 
Let's come to some agreement about this 
business and then go home. I've got a fight 
brewing and I want to be there to get ready 
for it. 

UncIvE Sam: — You've got the right idea, 
old Musselman. Secure peace if you have 
to fight for it. That's the way I did. 

China: — If all who have trouble await- 
ing them are at liberty to go home and get 
ready for it, I ought to have started back as 
soon as I started forward. It seems to me 
there is more trouble ahead for me than for 
any other nation of the globe. But then, 
you all know more about that than I do. 

Japan:— There's no doubt about that. 

China: — There's not much doubt, either, 
that when I get home there won't be any 
ports left for me to enter. I am going now. 
(China starts to leave. All block her way.) 

China: — On second thought, I believe 
I'll stay. 

Italy: — It is good that you so decide. 
When you are dealing with wide-awake na- 
tions like myself, you must remember to do 



28 The Controversy of the Powers. 

aa thej' bid you. It pays better in the end. 

England:— ('fo Italy) 'Ere, you boaster, 
you'd better mind your business. 

France:— f'^o Italy) Do what is pleas- 
ing to you to do. It is not ze place of ze 
Briton to command you. 

Spain:— Caramba! No! 

Germany:— It makCvS me empty of pati- 
ence to hear leedle bull-frogs groakin' away 
like donner-wetter. 

( Uncle Sam laughs to himself.) 

France: — It is distasteful to me zat ze 
German should be offensive. 

Spain:— Put him out! 

Italy:— Throw him out! 

(Uncle Sam continues to laugh.) 

Russia: — Wild animals, all of you! 
When I ask you to talk peace it is nothing- 
but sounds of war that beat my ears. No 
more will I tolerate. To have peace here I 
will get my soldiers. (Exit Russia.) 

Japan: — It may be that we can have 
peace now that the growling bear is gone. 
But my faith in this conference is very 
small. Our crafty host builds war boats 
even now, and his money flies to the farthest 
points of the earth to buy war supplies. If 
he is for peace, why does he prepare for war? 



The Controversy of the Powers. 29 

iTAlyY: — It is one method of obtaining 
peace. 

Turkey:— Then why should we not all 
do the same? I do not doubt there are many 
thing-s in the mind of the ruler of all the 
Russias, and that this assemblage is mere- 
ly an attempt to blind us. 

(Enter Russia.) 

Russia:— My soldiers, I did not find 
them. It is time that we should lay aside 
discussion and attend to the business which 
brings us here. 

Japan: — We are all agreed that peace is 
necessary, or will be within a few years, in 
order to preserve civilization. No perma- 
nent advance can be made by any nation un- 
less unhampered by other powers. Thus 
disarmament becomes necessary. It is only 
left to decide upon this. Shall we disarm? 

All: — Disarm! disarm! 

Japan: — How is this thing to be done? 
Which of us is it who will disband his army 
and discard his navy first, trusting that the 
others will do the same? 

Italy:— Never will I do such a rash 
thing. 

England:— Nor I. 

Japan: — Then must we fix upon a cer- 



30 The Controversy of the Powers. 

tain date for disarmament. Let it be upon 
the 15th of July of the coming summer. 

Germany: — ^I sukgestOwg-ust der l.^th. 

Knglano:— Hi say vSeptember 15th. 

Fran'CE:— And I say wera/Ve! 

Russia: — It seems that we cannot ag^ree 
upon this. Let us pledge ourselves to be as 
peaceable as possible, and arbitrate all dis- 
ag-reements if possible. 

All: — We agree. 

Russia: — Then, friends, I bid j^ou fare- 
well and wish you a peaceful journej' hoine- 
ward. {E.reiint Spain and Italy.) It is a 
pleasure to ine to know that we have agreed 
so easily. [Exeunt U. S., Germanj' and 
England.) "Peace if possible!" That is a 
noble watchword, a pledge worthy of the 
great powers of the earth. {Exeunt France, 
Japan, China and Turkey.) Now thej' are 
all gone. "Peace if possible." Ha ha. "Ar- 
bitrate if possible." Ha ha! What will I not 
do with Turkey and China! At least I have 
blinded the eyes of my friends for a short 
time. When that time is ended, I will be in a 
position to defy the world. Peace, peace! 
Never will there be peace until I have finish- 
ed the conquest of the world, and the name 
Russia shall be substituted for The Eartlu 



The Controversy of tlie Powers. 31 

Act II. Scene II. 

{Accidental assemblage of Powers.) 
Japan: — {on stage alone) My war with 
China has finally turned out disastrously 
for me as well as for China. When I secur- 
ed Wei Hai Wei and other strongholds at 
the end of the war I thought I was getting 
in good trim to control the future of the 
Chinese Empire. But along comes Russia 
and takes Port Arthur, which is on my pe- 
ninsula. {Enter Russia.) Then England 
puts in a claim on China for some port 
equal in importance to Port Arthur, and se- 
cures my Wei Hai Wei by leasing it from 
China and paying me the indemnity for 
which I held that port. Now what have I 
left? A few Chinese towns and the oppor- 
tunity to ask for more — withovit getting 
them. 

Russia:— You are badly situated, aren't 
you? If you can't have the earth you are 
dissatisfied. I am the unfortunate one in 
this affair, I wait hundreds of years for the 
sun to become warm enough to thaw out my 
ice-locked ports. The sun refuses. Then I 
take a port with water in front of it instead 
of ice, and the BritivSh lion comes roaring 



32 The Controversy of the Powers. 

around and seizea Wei Hai Wei which com- 
mands not only the gulf, but my Port Ar- 
thur. (Enter Franco.) The greed of the 
Anglo-Saxon is almost bej'ond belief. 

France: —We are all tricked by Eng- 
land. Just because I take what seems to me 
to be a proper share of ze Mongolian land 
in ze South, England must have some too, 
and I find ze block in ze road. (Enter Ger- 
many and U. S.) 

Germany: — I haf me a lease on Kaio 
Chou for ninety-nine years und I was anger- 
ed mit myself that I did not make it ein 
hundered years. That is the great kicking 
on mj- part. 

Uncle Sam: — I think I shall write a book 
entitled "The Sad Story of the Disappointed 
Powers," and if you're sharp 5'ou'll recog- 
nize the characters at the first reading. 
What have I to show as ray portion of Chi- 
naland? Not a thing. Not even a pebble on 
the beach. And j^et I am not grumbling 
any! But I honestly think I ought to be re- 
cognized in some way, so I propose the pol- 
icy of the open door. 

France:— -Open ze door and put him on 
ze outside. 

Russia: — I am opposed to any open 



i 



The Controversy of the Powers. 33 

door policy whatever, you may be certain. 

All: — {in turn) So am I. 

Russia: — And I never will submit to it. 

Uncle Sam: — You are sure of that are 
you? Allow me to prophesy that you are 
going- to be surprised some day, soon. {Chi- 
na and England enter.) You are just the 
one I w^ant to see. 

Cs.lNA:—{jvearilj^) Well, what do jrou 
want? I haven't any ports to spare, no 
more islands, nor peninsulas, nor bays nor 
provinces to give away. I must live some- 
where, and what's the harm in my living on 
my own territory. I don't want any of 
j^ours. 

Uncle Sam: — Neither do I want any of 
j'^ours. 

China: — {in astonishment) What? You 
don't mean it! I have half a notion to lease 
the whole country to you on condition that 
you will drive the pack of beggars from my 
doors. 

Uncle Sam: — Neither do I wish to con- 
flict with a yard full of beggars. If one 
puts his hands on pitch, he gets pitch on 
his hands. All I ask is an answer to one 
qtiestion. 

China:— Ask it. 

LofC. 



34 The Controversy of the Powers. 



Uncle Sam;— Why are you so indiffer- 
ent to tlie advantages to be derived from 
American trade? My people have the best 
of everything to offer and yet you scarcely 
have any dealings with them. 

China:— The truth is 1 have been so 
harassed by these continental parasites 
that I haven't had time to think of anything 
else. I realize that it would be to the inter- 
est of my people to trade with yours, but 
what can I do? If I make any concessions 
the whole pack will be at my heels with 
claims for more ports. No, I must draw 
the line somewhere, and I might as well be- 
gin now, although I do wish I were in a posi- 
tion to treat with you, for I am sure you 
would not demand my whole empire. 

Uncle Sam: — I appreciate your difficul- 
ties. I'll talk to these fellows. {Approaches 
powers) I want the open door policy. I 
have the Philippines and unless you agree 
to the policy I have proposed, there'll be no 
prospects for you in those islands until the 
sky falls. The Philippines are the keys to the 
Pacific, and I mean to keep the keys. {Poiv- 
ers appear disconcerted.) This is not all. 
I have other means for enforcing my de- 
mand*. 



The Controversy of the Powers. 35 

England:^^o powers) 'E 'as the whip 
in 'is 'ands. Hi'm in favor of giving my 
cousin what 'e wants. 

France, Germany and Russia con- 
verse briefly.) 

France:— Just as I expected, ze lion 
turns his back to ze enemy. 

Germany:— So much for dot gall und 
dot nerve by der Yankee. 

Russia: — I'd give a million dollars if 
my army and navy were in better condition. 
This has happened too soon. 

China: — The wolf pack seems to be agi- 
tated. I must say a few words in behalf of 
Uncle Sam, I've decided to support him as 
well as I can if he pushes his claim to the 
open door. I do not want my ports shut 
against the most progressive people of the 
earth. I welcome the infusion of their en- 
ergy among my people. We have been 
quiescent too long but we are beginning to 
be aroused. The great wall around us has 
stood too long and we want the assistance 
of the American people in tearing it down, 
believing that they will not take undue ad- 
vantage of our weakness, but will aid us in 
taking our rightful place as one of the 
great nations of the earth. 



36 The Controversy of the Powers. 

Fkance: — It is too much opposition, 
gentlemen. We must submit or be assailed 
by severe difficulties. But ze great sur- 
prise! Ah! 

Germany: — Too much like some jug- 
gler beesnus is all this changing sideways, 
and up and around. I guess I better get me 
soine different ideas mineself. 

Russia: — It is useless for me to object 
longer. But I wish my armj'^ were stronger. 
I would see who is ruling this world! But 
by and by, by and by, there will be great 
fighting and rivers of blood and plains 
weighted with dead. 

Uncle Sam:— Well, gentlemen, what do 
you say? 

Francb:— (shrugs shoulders) It is ze 
great pleasure to submit. 

Germany: — I haf already too much 
beesnus upon which to look. I geefs mine 
gonsent. 

Russia:— I give it up. 

Japan:— What else can I do? 

England: — Of course I am satisfied. 

Uncle Sam: — I accept your decision 
with inore pleasure even than you give it. 

China: — And I hear the announcement 
with more pleasure than any one. To me it 



The Controversy of the Powers. 37 

means much more than it can to any of 
you. To me it means the preservation of 
my empire, which I love and yet was power- 
less to protect until Uncle Sam appeared. 
Our country is old, and the history of my 
people runs back near to the earliest days 
of mankind. What wonder that the en- 
croachment of the foreigner has been view- 
ed with sorrow. But we have lived too 
much to ourselves, and the great progress 
of the world has dazed and bewildered us. 
We are anxious to learn, and willing, and it 
shall ever be our pleasure to thank the no- 
ble American for making it possible for us 
to learn without being annihilated. 

(China, England, France, Japan slow- 
ly move to the rear. Enter Turkey.) 

Russia: — We no sooner get out of one 
difficultj' than another appears. (Points to 
Turkey.) To get rid of this insolent bank- 
rupt I shall yet have to exile him from the 
face of the earth. He is in my way all the 
time, and he will not pay any bills. See 
here, you Mohammedan, when are you go- 
ing to pay me? 

Turkey: — I think next Thursday — 
which is my pay day. 

Russia: — I'll listen to no more of your 



38 The Controversy of the Powers. 

pay clay nonaenae. I'll have ray money. 
V\\— (starts ton^ard Turkey with uplifted 
fist.-) 

\Jncl,eSan:~( stepping up) Hold on. 
Don't let 3'our anger make yon a brawler. 
Why don't you take it philosophically, like 
a man! Now when I am in trouble I keep 
cool and — (enter Philippines) Great atars 
and atripes! There'a that Oriental atumb- 
ling--block. You're worae than Banquo'a 
ghoat. You don't give me a minute's peace. 

Philippines:— No, and I don't expect to 
until you withdraw your troops and leave 
my islanders free. I know you have pub- 
lished to the world that I commenced the 
conflict, but I know too, that it isn't so, and 
so do you. You ought to have a little more 
regard for your word — j'ou, a great strong 
nation, breaking your proiniaes to a weak 
little group of islands unable to take care 
of themselvea! 

Uncle Sam: — If you can't do it, some 
one ought to do it for you. That'a me. My 
intentions were all right when I was at the 
beginning of all this trouble, and you are 
to blame that I wasn't allowed to follow 
them. I hope no one will ever say "islands" 
to me again. They are too turbulent for 



The Controversy of the Powers. 39 

me. (Enter Porto Rico and Cuba. U. S. 
drops upon seat, warding them off with 
vigorous gestures.) And there are two 
more of them. O Lord, what are islands 
for, anyway! 

Porto Rico:— Uncle Sam, there is a 
great deal of indignation among my people 
over that new tariff law. They wish to have 
it remodeled at once, and if it is not, I think 
there will be considerable trouble ahead 
for you. 

(?7. S. groans.) 

Cuba: — Isn't it about time for me to be 
independent? I have learned much in the 
last two years, and it isn't all compliment- 
ary to you, either. 

(U. S. rises, assuming a dejected pos- 
ture. Spain enters with Italy.) 

Spain:— We can do it, I tell you. We'll 
follow the plan I've outlined, and sweep all 
before us. You remember how the Ameri- 
cano dog ran from me. All these big fel- 
lows will run if you and I combine forces 
and start out after them. A few short en- 
gagements and we shall own the w^orld. 
Sacramento! California! Caramba! Why 
not! The world is ours! {Spain runs in- 
to U. S. and steps hack hurriedly.) I beg 



40 The Controversy of the Powers. 

Senor'a pardon, I did not know he was near. 

Italy.— Whj' apologize to the America- 
no? Why not commence the conquest of 
the world by overpowering him? After that 
the thing will be— ah— easy. 

Spain.— No, no, I was going to leave 
him till the last. 

Italy:— They are all here. Which one 
shall it be that we shall assault first? 

Spain:— There are the Philippines. 

Italy:— But they belong to the Ameri- 
cano. 

Philippines:— Not I. And I do not in- 
tend to. Nor to yon either. 

Spain:— This one shall also be left till 
the last. 

Germany:— You can begin niit me. 

Spain:— But I should much prefer to be- 
gin with— with— {All rush toward him 
and seize him. Italy joins in. They 
struggle a short time. Spain at length 
gasps:) Lest we forget,— lest we forget, 
let us sing the Recessional. {They sing:) 
"If drunk with sight of power, we loose 

Wild tongues that have not Thee in awe- 
Such boastings as the Gentiles use, 

Or lesser breeds without the Law- 
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, 
Lest we forget— lest we forget!" 



--^^*' >^ :Cl»iG?ESS 




5 515 115 947 5 t 



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